You May Be Too Old for the Gig if...

You May Be Too Old for the Gig if...

A few clues to tell when you're past prime time.

* Your gig stool needs to have a back.

* You need a nap before the gig.

* The waitress is actually your daughter.

* All your fans get up and leave by 9:30 p.m.

* You feel like hell before the gig even starts.

* You prefer a music stand with a light.

* It's more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.

* Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

* All you want from groupies is a nice foot massage and back rub.

* You like taking the elevator since you can sing along with most of your playlist.

* Instead of adding another member, your band wants to hire a roadie.

* You forgot where you put the directions to the gig.

* You need your glasses to see the amp settings.

* You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

* You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

* Most of your crowd just sits and sways in their seats.

* You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30.

* You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.

* You refuse to play without wearing earplugs.

* You're related to at least one member in the band.

* You hope the host's speech lasts forever.

* You never let any one else sit-in on a tune.

* After the third set, you ask the club manager to let you quit early.

* During the breaks, you go to your van to lie down and rest your eyes.

* You don't recover from the gig until Tuesday afternoon.

* You buy amps because of their weight, not their tone or cool factor.

* You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days.

* You can remember at least seven different club names for the same location.

* You feel guilty looking at hot women at the bar since they're younger than your daughter.

Smiles =)

Lone